In case any of you landlubbers decid to go on account..

Pirates have always talked a little strange in comparison to ye landlubbers. When ye live yer life in the sea and with uneducated people, thats what happens. Here me made a small list of some of the things we say.

Black Spot - a death threat among pirates made of a black spot or mark on a scrap of paper with more specific detail sometimes written on the other side
Dance the Hempen Jig - to hang (the rope ussually be made of hemp fibers)
Go on Account - pirates compare the act of becoming a pirate to going into business so we say that
Hempen Halter- The hangman's noose.
Hornswaggle - To cheat (mostly about gold)
Cackle Fruit - chicken eggs
Duffle - everything a pirate owns and also the nickname for the bag that holds it
Cockswain - Captain's attendant who would row him to and from the ship
Drivelswigger - a pirate that reads about nautical terms too much
Black Jack - large drinking cups made of leather that were made strong with tar
Bumboo - a West Indies drink made with watered rum, sugar and nutmeg
Grog - a mix of water and rum
Hogshead- a big barrel that can hold 63 to 140 gallons of rum =D
Davy Jones's Locker - the place at the ocean bottom that holds dead sailors and pirates...a reference to death.
To be in Davy's Grip: to be close to death or truly terrified
To have the Davies or the Joneseys: to be scared
To see you to Davy Jones: threatening to kill some one

The first Mate

The first mate is probably one of the most important crewmembers on the ship, and a position most pirates want. The first mate is the replacment of the Captain if he were to die, or if he were not in position to lead the crew at the moment. For instance, if ye be the Captain and ye were held in jail, yer first mate is now the Captain of the ship n crew, and he decides if they help ye or not. This happened quite oftenly, and most of the time the Captains end up dead, and the first mate is new Captain.

The Cap'n

In a crew of pirates, there was always a need of a seadog mighty and savvy enough to lead them all. This be the Captain of the ship. The Captain of the ship had to be one with a lot of witts about dirty sea faring, and he had to be ready to have the souls of all the men in the crew on his hands. He was usually the mate that knew everything about any position on the ship, and his place is leading the crew to victory in every battle. He had to be ready to tell everyone what be needed to be doing during engagement, and then during calm sailings, act as a father to the crew. Normally, the Captain was "elected" within the crew, and was usually someone who was already highly respected and whose word was always taken seriously. Once a Captain though, if the crew all feel that he is being to brutal, or is being stupid, they can begin a mutiny and maroon him.

Aye, pirates always need a wench!!

Gar, as I had already told ye all, women were never allowed onboard a ship. This be raising a question of great importance.. Did pirates ever have a woman to their side? Jeje, well of course they did! Tortuga was an island were most pirates went to for protection from the government and to have a good time. When pirates docked here, they needed to get off the ship to get gold from their pillages and go get some rum, and they usually took a few days, maybe weeks in doing this.. Did they need all that time? Jeje.. No. The pirates that survived all the battles went onto land and went straight to spending their newfound gold on rum and women. Sometimes, a pirate actually wanted to stay with a certain wench, and so two things were possible. The traitors would stay on land and become a landlubber. Others would break the rules and bring a wench aboard the ship. This was very dangerouse, women being bad luck onboard and all, so they had to dress the wench as a man, and she would have to work hard as another pirate. This broke many rules, and was risky for the wench and the mate trying to pull this. Although, if things worked out well, they would never get caught and would eventually die at sea together. =)

Answers to me mates

Someone seemed to be interested in me own flag, so me thinks me should address it.. Me flag is relativly simple. Most of the time, me likes to keep to the code, and when me see's those swine of pirates with no wits about what a pirate stands for, they are not going to be sailing for to long. jeje i hope this answerd your question mate!

Exaggerations...

Many times, a pirates life is known by many people. Sometimes, legends of them scallywags come up, that are a slightly untrue.. Blackbead for example was a great pirate, feared and respected by all. Some even thought he was possesed by sea deamonds lurkin about.. Others took things to an extent, and said he was the son of the devil... they claimed that when he fought, he became coverd in evil smoke and his eyes flashed red. Some of you might recognize this legend, others no.. The truth is that when he went to fight, he burned the tips of his beard to make the smoke swivle around his face, scaring his enemies. Also, he drank a jug of grog, and its said he even added gunpowder to it.. this really was a drink that only the strongest, and most fearless pirates drank. His eyes became bloodshot, and with the flashes of the cannons, he must have looked like the devil himself.. Well landlubbers, thats the lesson of the day.

Thanks maties

Garr the colours..

HOIST THE COLOURS! Argh, ay our flags are important.. it seperates the real pirates from the followers. The type of flag we hail be called the Jolly Roger.. It be our thoughts of how things are going to happen. If, for example, ye see a flag with an hourglass under a skull and crossbones, the meanin to that be that time is running out before yer death. If ye see a plain red flag hoisted in the sky, then it means u better kill yer cutlass goodbye, because they're giving no quarter (no mercy)and they are out for blood. there are many other flag that we may hoist, so if ye want me to speak more of this, comment and tell me so.

Places to find ye wench, and have a good time =D

Now, me might regret saying this, but the island "Tortuga" does exist, and it was a real pirate island. This happend to be one of the most wild places in the world at the time, were everyone was drunk, and the party never stopped, literally. This island makes New York City look like a sleeping baby, thats how much me maties had fun. Any pirate who went was welcome, and anyone who really wanted to go on account would have a good start here. ANY coat that came up to this island, was never seen again. This place was only for the strong, witty, and drunk! :D A nice place to have a birthday party i presume.. jeje

Our weapons

Weapons are obviously a grand part of our scoundreling lifestyle, but movies make me hearties look to simple. We seem like we can only use our cutlass, pistol, and the cannons on our ship, argh but there was more than that. Cutlasses, for ye who havent had their feet wet yet, are a little heavy, curved, and sharp one one side. Me cutlass has helped me many adventures before, as it has me ancestors. Ye see, us pirates like fighting very much, and since all the coats fight in a predictable way, we like to fight back... maybe a little dirty (jeje). Pistols are great, espesially for captains like me self, that can afford the triple barral hand cannons that can shoot three times without needing to reload, which takes a while. And cannons, well... they make big boom :D jeje. Of course, we have other weapons to choose from. Some of us are a little cowerdly and like using fist shields, which is pretty much brass knuckles, but it cover ye fist like a shield. Me remembers me first day with a blunderbuss... the "thunder gun" as it were. this was a giant of a gun that always had to be held against yer hip, or anywere else that might be able to handle the recoil. Of course, being pirates, no one decided to tell me that the first time, so me ended up breaking me wrist and me arm.. So next time you see a movie with only swords and pistols, yell have ye wits about.

Ahoy mates once again. Thank ye for yer comments, and as I promised in me last post, here is me own set o' rules, (with the main rules as well) along with me contract, so ye can see how it be possible for rules to change amongst Captains.


The grand rules
Of the company

Article One
Every man shall obey civil command; the captain shall have the first pick of a full share and a half in all prizes. The Master, Carpenter, Boatswain, and Gunner shall have one share and a quarter.

Article Two
If any man shall offer to run away, or keep a secret from the Company, he shall be marooned with one bottle of powder, one bottle of water, one small arm, and shot.

Article Three
If any man shall steal anything in the Company, or game, through the value of a piece of Eight, he shall be marroon’d or shot.

Article Four
If at any time we should meet another Marrooner that is pirate, and that man sign his Articles without the consent of our company and, most importantly, captain, shall suffer such punishment as the captain and company see fit.

Article Five
That man that shall harm another, whilst these articles are in force, shall receice 40 stripes, lacking one, on the bare back.

Article Six
That man that shall snap his arms, smoke tobacco in the hold without a cap to his pipe, or carry a lighted candle without lanthorn, shall suffer the same punishment as in the former article.

Article Seven
That man that shall not keep his arms clean, fit for an engagement, or neglect his business, shall be cut off from his share, and suffer such other punishment as the captain and company see fit.

Article Eight
If any man shall loose a joint in time of engagement, shall receive 400 pieces of eight; if a limb, 800.

Article Nine
If at any time you meet with a prudent woman, that man that offers to meddle with her, without her consent, shall suffer death.




Captain rules for
company

A pirate does not ask for directions. He relies only on his gut feeling, a compass, or a treasure map.
Parrots and Monkeys are the preferred pirate pets.
When fishing, a pirate uses a sword, a knife, his bare hands, ECT.
Pirates shall always wear boots, except in the case of a peg leg. Then one boot is acceptable. Otherwise, pirates may be barefoot.
Pirates do not cry, except in the case of the loss of a shipload of rum.
A pirate should always remove his hat in the presence of a bartender.
No pirate shall drink Grog out of a glass. Grog is only to be consumed either straight from the barrel, or from a mug heavy enough to kill a man.
Three-cornered hats, headbands and bandanas are the only acceptable headwear for pirates.
Peglegs must be made of timber or some other suitable wood.
No pirate may ever change his shirt because it is "wrinkled". A pirate may only change his shirt if it is completely soaked in blood.
When drinking, Pirates may sing. "Fifteen Men on a Dead Man's Chest" is preferred.
No matter how hard it is raining, pirates do not fear rain.
A pirate may never wear another man's clothing, unless he first kills that man.
Two pirates must never share a bed or a hammock. It is perfectly acceptable for one pirate to sleep on the floor, or on a pile of treasure.
When setting out on a voyage, a pirate is only to bring what he can carry under his arms, or his back.
A pirate will never wear a patch that is any other color than black.
When choosing clothing, even if it looks dirty, or smells dirty, it is clean.
A pirate may ride in a rowboat, if traveling to or from his ship. Use of a Kayak is only permitted if used for cannon target practice.
When drinking rum, the only thing a pirate adds to the rum, is more rum.
A Pirate does not read poetry, unless said poetry is scrawled on the wall of a bathroom.
All women are to be referred to as wenches, with the exception of female Pirates, who can be referred to as "lass".
All pirates are to fight dirty with sword play as long as you don’t try to grab your opponent’s weapon, and don’t use the same attack over repeatedly.
Pirates in the same crew only use practice swords and can only attack each-other if practicing.
If a pirate declares “Parley”, he is to be taken to the captain and shall not be harmed. After the pirate speaks with the captain, the person is to be taken back were they were found and be left without harm.
A pirate never spends his money stupidly.
No pirate is allowed to drink rum or be near rum on the ship without the authorization of the captain.
A pirate is never to bring a woman on board the vessel unless she is a female pirate, slave, or is using the counter effect, which is known by the captain.
When on a ship, a pirate is never to whistle or else bad luck will come to the ship and crew.
Never bring a banana on board.
One never starts a voyage on land or sea on a Wednesday.


The following mates accept these rules to the good captain, Captain Reyes:

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Welcome to the Crew Mate

The Code

Me maties, the other day me thought to meself, people these days think they can just watch "Pirates of the Carribean" and know everything about us pirates.. They are so stupid, they thinks we have one big book, with all the rules we "need" to follow. Thats absurb! Do ye really thinks we get along? Ha! Aye, at one point in time, we did have a few years of agreement within ourselves, and we had a small set of "grand rules" we "needed" to follow, but that only lasted that generation of pirates, and no more! So ye knows, we each make our own rules for our ships. Some of us.. no.. most of us still follow some of the old rules, but we still carry our own. For me ship, me has a contract for any landlubber that wishes to go on account with me crew. Here, me ought to show ye the "grand rules" i suppose... Another time, me promises I'll put me ships rules up.


Article One
Every man shall obey civil command; the captain shall have on full share and a half in all prizes. the Master, Carpenter, Boatswain, and Gunner shall have one share and quarter.

Article Two
If any man shall offer to run away, or keep any secret from the Company, he shall be marroon'd with one bottle of powder, one bottle of Water, one small Arm, and shot.

Article Three
If any Man shall steal any Thing in the Company, or game, to the value of a piece of Eight, he shall be Marroon'd or shot.

Article Four
If at any Time we should meet at another Marrooner (that is, Pirate) that man shall sign his Articles without Consent of our Company, shall suffer such Punishment as the Captain and Company shall think fit.

Article Five
That man that shall strike another, whilst these Articles are in force, shall receive Moses's Law (that is 40 Stripes lacking one) on the bare Back.

Article Six
That Man that shall snap his Arms, or smoak Tobacco in the Hold, without cap to his Pipe, or carry a candle lighted without lanthorn, shall suffer the same Punishment as in the former Article.

Article Seven
That Man that shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect his Business, shall be cut off from his Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and Company shall think fit.

Article Eight
If any man shall lose a joint in time of Engagement, shall have 400 Pieces of Eight: if a limb, 800.

Article Nine
If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer Death.

Me self

Ahoy mates, and welcome to me blog. Ye must be thinking what kind of pirate writes blogs aren't ye? Well its the type of pirate that needs to do his duties, savvy? I'll do me best to help ye keep ye wits about, and write every day so ye can attempt an understanding of me life, and of me ancestors'. On me site, ye'll find information of me father, what we used in our golden days, and every now and again, ye'll see about our attempts of piracy today. Me thinks ye'll be interested in this quickly enough. Me hopes ye'll comment. 

Me thanks maties!